Can Trauma Be Healed?

A client once said to me, “I wish there was a delete button, like on a computer, so I could erase my trauma from my brain.”  It’s a sentiment many of us can relate to – wanting to get rid of the pain, the memories, and the weight of what we’ve endured. Unfortunately, trauma doesn’t work like that. It’s not a file we can simply drag to the bin and hit empty. 

So, what does trauma look like?

Can trauma be healed?

What does a journey of healing look like?

And how can therapy help?

Trauma is part of our lives, part of our experience, and perhaps in some ways, part of who we are. Trauma isn’t something we can simply erase or forget because it leaves its mark – not just in our memories but in our bodies, our psyche and our behaviours. It changes the way we see ourselves, others and the world.

However, if trauma can’t be undone, can it be transformed? Perhaps healing doesn’t mean forgetting or erasing – it means finding ways to live with and beyond the pain. It means reclaiming your sense of safety, connection, and self-worth.

The Hidden Nature of Trauma

The Hidden Nature of Trauma 

Trauma often hides in plain sight. It doesn’t always look the way we expect it to – dramatic, visible, or outwardly disruptive (although for some people, it can be too). Instead, it often becomes something internal. For many, trauma is buried so deeply that even they might not fully realise its impact.

After experiencing trauma, people often learn to hide – both from the world and from themselves.

As Bessel van der Kolk (2015) writes in The Body Keeps the Score: 

“Traumatised people chronically feel unsafe inside their bodies: The past is alive in the form of gnawing interior discomfort. Their bodies are constantly bombarded by visceral warning signs, and, in an attempt to control these processes, they often become expert at ignoring their gut feelings and in numbing awareness of what is played out inside. They learn to hide from their selves.”

This hiding can take many forms: staying busy to avoid quiet moments, becoming emotionally numb, or avoiding people and places that might bring back painful memories. Some people seem outwardly fine, productive or even cheerful, while carrying immense pain beneath the surface. They bury it so deeply that even those closest to them may not realise it’s there. But trauma doesn’t vanish simply because it’s buried. It finds ways to resurface, often through the body.  Unexplained aches, chronic pain, digestive issues, and sleep disturbances can all be signs that the body holds onto unprocessed emotions. Nightmares, flashbacks, emotional outbursts, difficulties in relationships, sudden triggers, or feeling a sense of unnamed “dread” can all stem from pain that remains unprocessed. Over time, these hidden wounds can shape how we see ourselves and interact with the world, often without realising it. These symptoms are constant reminders that the past isn’t gone – it’s alive in the present.

How Can Trauma Be Healed? 

Can Trauma Be Healed?

Understanding the hidden nature of trauma reveals just how deeply it can impact our lives physically, emotionally, and mentally. It’s not something we can simply ignore or push away. Healing doesn’t mean forgetting. It doesn’t mean erasing or getting rid of. Instead, healing is about transforming trauma so that it no longer dominates your life. Therapy can help in this process, helping you navigate the journey from surviving to thriving. 

Judith Herman (1997), in her groundbreaking work Trauma & Recovery, outlines a model of healing with three key stages: 

1. Establishing Psychological Safety

Trauma leaves us feeling unsafe even after the traumatic event has ended. We can continue to feel unsafe in our environments, relationships, and even our own bodies. Therapy creates a space where you can begin to feel secure again. It’s about building trust, compassion, and psychological safety, so you can explore what’s been buried without fear of being overwhelmed. 

2. Remembrance and Mourning

Trauma often leaves us with fragmented memories and unresolved conflicts. Therapy can provide a space where you can be held safely, to process these experiences in a way that feels manageable and meaningful. Having the right support resources and applying the brakes is important here. This isn’t about reliving the trauma. It’s about making sense of it, finding language for it, and grieving what was lost. Therapists can guide you through this process, helping you reframe and reprocess your experiences in a way that reduces trauma’s emotional grip.

Trauma can leave us questioning our identity, purpose, and values. Therapy provides space to explore these questions, helping you make sense of your experiences and find meaning in your lives. For some, this might involve recognising your strength and resilience. For others, it’s about finding ways to channel your experiences into something positive – whether through advocacy, creativity, or simply living more authentically.

3. Reconnection

Trauma disconnects us, from ourselves, our relationships and the world around us. Healing involves rebuilding those connections and finding meaning in life again. This stage is where transformation happens, as you reclaim your sense of agency and begin to live in the present rather than being trapped in the past.

Herman (1997) emphasises that healing is not a linear process, and she writes that "resolution of trauma is never final; and recovery is never complete". Healing from trauma is often a lifelong process, one that evolves as we do. There will be moments when things feel worse before they get better, with moments of progress, setbacks, and there will always be more layers to uncover, but each step strengthens our relilience towards being able to face life's challenges as they rise. It's about reclaiming agency and connection in the present, and living a fuller, more empowered life even while carrying the scars of what has been endured.

A Journey of Transformation 

How Therapy Transforms Trauma

Perhaps you feel broken, as though everything around you is crumbling, leaving you feeling lost and unsure of how to hold it all together. Perhaps you feel overwhelmed by fear, shame, sadness, anger and despair, as though these emotions are consuming everything in their path. If you’re carrying the weight of trauma, know this: You are not alone. Healing is possible, and there is help available to support you on this journey.

As therapist, I want my clients to know and experience this: "I see you, I hear you, and I am here with you". For me, the act of “being with” is perhaps the most important, and the most healing, part of the therapeutic journey. A good therapist doesn’t provide all the answers but will empower you to uncover your own. They will act as a guide, ally, and witness on your healing journey.

My priority is to create a space where you feel safe, supported, and understood – a space where you don’t have to hide. Using a psychodynamic and trauma-informed approach, I gently help you explore what lies beneath the surface, always at a pace that feels right for you.

I believe that at the heart of healing trauma is a non-judgmental and compassionate relationship. It is within this relationship that you can start to make sense of your experiences, process your pain, and reconnect with yourself in a way that feels empowering and whole.

References

Herman, Judith Lewis. Trauma and Recovery. London: Pandora, 1997.

Van der Kolk, Bessel A. The Body Keeps the Score: Mind, Brain, and Body in the Transformation of Trauma. London: Penguin Books, 2015.